Spoliers AHOY!

This film is what a lot of sky-watching, conspiracy theorizing, paranormal believing geeks have been waiting for ever since the show ended in 2002. Ten years, I might add, after the first film which carried on with the shows mythology of government conspiracy against secret alien invasion blah blah blah. This film, as i’m sure you will be aware if you are as much of a nerd as myself to be researching said film, does not. It is a total stand alone film which pithes Mulder and Scully, now both through with the FBI after the shows brilliant crescendo six years ago, alongside Billy Connelly’s Father Crissman, an ex paedophile priest who has psychic visions of missing women in the snow, as well as (ahem) rapper/actor/pimp daddy Xhibit as an FBI special agent who calls in the team to help with the investigation after one of their own goes missing.

Any expectations of what you might normally expect from an X Files movie are thoroughly shattered from the moment you see Mulder with a man beard living in exile as a wanted man. Well sort of. The problem is you only really learn that the FBI were after Mulder during one conversation where Scully convinces him to help out the FBI in order for them to drop the search and exonerate him. Oh by the way loyal X Files fans, Mulder and Scully are now living together by the way…yeah. In a nice house in Virginia. And he gets through the days by putting newspaper clippings of paranormal articles on the wall while she works at the hospital….yeah. Incase you were wondering. Oh, and erm, by the way, they’re now a couple. All the years of sexual tension created by the show destroyed for the sake of bringing out a stand alone movie with no relevance to the X Files world at all and some plot involving girls being abducted so that Russian doctors can attempt to perform head transplants on some random dying guy. Typical Fucking Hollywood.

So yeah, I didn’t like the movie much. But I have my reasons. A legion of fans waited six years to see one of their favourite TV shows wrap up a fantastic ongoing storyline, and we’re “treated” to what feels like a bad feature length episode? I know that the characters needed to be re-introduced after the closing down of the X Files and the exile of Mulder, but this could have been done so much better. Yes the acting is all good, the cinematography is good, the landscapes are beautiful and it’s never really boring, but it just isn’t what the fans deserve. It feels like cashing in on geeks who love cult Sci Fi. And for the significant lack of heart, soul and paranoia the show offered, this run-of-the-mill film is a complete waste of time. Shame on you Chris Carter!

I wanted to believe this film would give the X Files a new lease of life, but unless they can summon the drive (and revenue) to finance a third film, apparently due on that all-special date for X-Philes and Mayans, December 21st 2012, the franchise has ended on a low note. Do we really have to wait till the end of the world another X Files outing? Apparently this film was made for the fans, but i’m a fan and i’m fucking disappointed.

WHERES MA ALIENS?!

[OXKING]