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As I write this post a single magpie is watching me from a lamp post outside my house. I know it’s going to be a fabulous day…..

For every guy who bought a card, roses or chocolate or something equally as pointless today, I want you to ACTUALLY punch yourself in the nuts right now. Or if you did the other stupid thing and forgot about today being Valentine’s Day please dont rush out to buy a last minute “gift”, its not worth it. For some stupid reason society allows certain days to be designated for which acts of “romantic” gesture should be expressed to loved ones. Its a scam older than antiquity. Is it just me or does it make anyone else want to leak anally on every red rose petal, every card with some pointless message about love and fidelity that the girl will insist on keeping for like 3 days before discarding alongside used banana skins and used condom wrappers. Im pretty sure most people reading this, all 3 of you, try to be pleasant, loving and caring to your respective partners on a daily basis, and give gifts anytime you see something they may like, not when a bunch of martyred saints are remembered in order to cover over ANOTHER pagan festival. Jesus, what is it with Christianity? Get your own sacred days.

The magpie has gone.

OxK